


Baby, It's Cold Inside

by HushedBreathsOverSecretPrayers



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Christmas, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 06:19:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5529206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HushedBreathsOverSecretPrayers/pseuds/HushedBreathsOverSecretPrayers





	Baby, It's Cold Inside

The warm glow of multi colored Christmas lights washed the dimly lit bunker library in hues of red, green, orange and yellow.

Dean Winchester sat at one of the tables centered in the room. Idly tapping his finger against the side of the small cup of spiked eggnog he'd fixed for himself.  
The quiet warmth of Christmas eve carded through every fiber of his body and for the first time he can remember in years, he really felt it.  
Whatever "it" is.  
That feeling of Christmas that slips away without warning one day. Well tonight, for whatever reason it managed to find him again.  
Not because of the crappy two and a half foot tree shoved in a pot he picked up the other day on a whim.  
Or the Christmas Story marathon running all night on TNT right now.

No. It was Sam asleep over on the couch. Dean could just make him out in the dark with the help the small treelights shinning on his face. For a fleeting moment he looked like a little kid again. Too excited to go to bed so he fell asleep on the couch.

Cas was somewhere in his room. All of them under one roof, alive. Safe. This was the first time since he was four years old all the living family he had was together under one roof.

Dean never thought he would live long enough to see this. Not after the past year. After everything. The Mark. All that dark evil shit tearing his soul apart from the inside out.  
He never thought they all would have another Christmas together.

Resting his elbows up on the table, slipping his fingers between each other and bowing his forehead to rest against them. Almost as if he was in prayer. He closed his eyes to deal with the pressure welling up in his throat and chest. Alone and a little overcome with gratitude for another chance. And everyone who loved him was still standing there with him after the storm. 

 

"Dean?"

 

Inhaling sharply, flinching at the sudden voice in the dark Dean fumbled. Almost spilling his drink. He already knew it was Cas but his body is so tightly wired in fight mode he couldn't help it.  
Rolling his eyes and quickly wiping the sleeve of his robe across his nose, hiding the evidence so to speak.

 

"Hey...Cas, what's goin' on? What're you doin' up?"

 

The Angel regarded his charge with quiet understanding. He knew he perhaps intruded on one of Dean's personal moments and he should have just not said anything.  
To answer Dean's question, Castiel tapped the side of a whimsical snowman tin filled with hot cocoa mix that Dean had picked up for no reason other than it was on sale.

 

"I wanted more, and I heard you up...I didn't mean to bother you, I apologize. "

 

Dean's eyes scanted down to the tin, then back to Cas.

 

"What's that gonna make? Your twelfth one tonight?  
Goin' for a record or something?"

 

Castiel's brows furrowed as he peered down at the tin, then back to Dean

 

"What is the record?"

 

Dean gave him a deadpan stare

 

"I have no idea. "

 

Instead of being annoyed, Dean just offered a smile.  
Castiel nodded with a small barley there smile but with obvious fondness.

 

"Would you like a cup?"

 

Half expecting Dean to shoot him down but was pleasantly surprised as Dean accepts.  
Getting up to take the tin from him.

 

"Yeah, sure. I got it."

 

They walked quietly into the kitchen and Dean went right on ahead to warming some milk.  
Turning, he faced Cas, folding his arms and leaning back against the counter.

 

Of course Castiel being who he is, cuts right through the bullshit and steps closer to him, unnervingly close to his face, Dean's shoulders tensed at the proximity but he didn't move.

 

"There ain't no mistletoe here, Pal. So...Might wanna back it up."

 

Dean's word's didn't bother him. He was used to his defenses. Ignoring it, he cocked his head to study him.

 

"Were those sad tears? Or ones from sentimentality?"

 

He questioned, gentle and quiet, but Dean still scoffed. Turning away.

 

"I wasn't---

 

"Yes" Castiel cuts off. "You were."

 

Dean hated how easily Cas could get past his defenses but here they were. Clearing his throat and averting his eyes he just nodded, non specifically.

 

"Little bit of both..."

 

Whispering low, about to raise his eyes to reluctantly meet his, but before he could, two hands came to rest on Dean's sides.  
His eyes shot up, cutting an uncomfortable glance his way.

 

"The hell are y-"

 

His words solidify in his mouth as Castiel steps up close enough that their hips almost touch.

 

"You survived, Dean... We all did. These are the things to focus on."

Dean's eyes narrowed to Cas, his lips pressed into a thin line. Castiel always knew how to handle him with raw honesty.

 

"Cas..."

 

the pause hung between them for long seconds. the soft medley of David Bowie's Little Drummer Boy sounded off from the old record player in the other room.  
It was so easy for Dean to fall into old habits and shying away from his proximity, yet here he was right now.  
Not backing down.

 

"Am I making you uncomfortable?"

 

Castiel questioned as he brought his hand up to rest beside Dean's nervous heated cheek. And for a brief moment Dean's eyes fluttered closed and he almost turned into his palm.  
He wanted to.  
Badly.  
The angel could see the desire in his charge, so instead of making him ask for it, he just moved in closer.  
Pressing their foreheads together. The angel's knowing eyes remained open, gauging Dean's reaction. Which was that of a taught wire.  
Like Dean was walking a narrow beam and falling would mean disaster.

 

"Cas...I can't...I'm not..."

 

Castiel ducked his head lower to try to catch Dean's hiding gaze. Finally getting their eyes to meet, he caressed his cheek with his thumb.

 

"Dean... I'm perfectly aware of everything you are. And right now you are seeking some sort of solitude. And I-- I would like to be able to give it to you. "

 

A hushed whisper, and Dean's hands came to rest on either side of Cas's waist.

 

".....Buddy, I can't.  
I'm good, alright? I just need t--"

 

"You need to not be alone tonight. I know that's what you would like. I am offering my company. Nothing more."

 

Dean's chest ached and the pressure behind his eyes made them sheen with moisture, why did it have to be so damn hard to accept something that would feel good.  
To have Cas close, just for tonight.  
Clearing his throat and giving a fragmented nod.

 

"If that's what you want....I wont stop you."

 

Castiel's expression remained impassive for the most part. He just closed his eyes and pressed forward a fraction of an inch, barely brushing the bridge of his nose against Dean's.  
Gentle affection that was just safe enough without tipping Dean over the edge and panicking him enough to close off from him.  
The gesture took Dean's breath away.

 

 

Castiel sat cross legged in the bed, hands folded neatly in his lap. Still dressed in his dark slacks and a more relaxed half buttoned shirt.  
Patiently he waited for Dean. Who seemed to be debating weather or not to remove his robe.  
His fingers worried the ties around his waist before finally deciding that he didn't wanna sleep with the extra fabric wedged into his damn side.  
So he shrugged out of it. Leaving his boxer briefs and a loose T shirt.  
Trying to ignore Cas's ever present stare, he just sat on the edge of the bed. Keeping his back to him and exhales a long breath he wasn't aware he had been holding. Finally he lays down, drawing up his knees so he could slide his legs under the covers.  
It was warm in the bunker but listening to the winter wind roar as it swept by outside, wrapping itself around the corners of the bunker, it was enough to convince Dean it was chilly.  
Pulling the blanket up over his shoulder.  
He lays there stiffly until the small movements of Cas shifting himself to lie beside him caught his attention.  
Alert he listened and closed his eyes to ever dip and grunt of the mattress until it was all still again.  
sighing he parted his lips to speak, but before he could manage a "G'night, Cas" an arm draped carefully over his side. Dean stilled. So did Cas.

 

"Is this okay?"

Castiel questioned and Dean hesitated, it was more than okay. He nodded a bit and them before he knew it he was enveloped by the angel.  
Catiel moved closer. Nosing the back of Dean's neck while drawing his knees up to curve into Dean's.  
His entire body curled protectively around him.  
And this is the first time Dean can recall being held, really held. Not since he was a kid anyway and his mom held him.  
The feeling almost overwhelmed him but he kept himself silent, just accepting the touch, leaning back into it at points.  
Chasing the warmth of his body.

Dean laid awake and listened to the clock on the nightstand and the wind outside and in that moment understood that he was really home, Sam asleep in the living room, and Dean in bed with Cas was home. He finally felt that thing that had been getting close in the dark was suddenly gone.The mark. His own Demon's haunting him. Those things could not stay. They had been banished. They knew how to come back, he was sure of that, but they could not stay right now. Not when Cas was with him, and he could really go to sleep. His heart cracked with gratitude. He thinks it was the most sincere gratitude he's ever really known. Laying there beside him and....friggin' tears rolled down the sides of his face onto the pillow.  
He loved him...loved him then and he loved him now. And he knew he had loved him every second in between. And right now, he didn't care if he understood what that meant. Understanding is vastly overrated, but nobody ever gets enough safety. And Dean would never forget how safe he felt right now beside Cas and how safe he felt with those terrible things gone out of the darkness.

Dean's hand found it's way to Castiel's and he laid it over top.

 

"Merry Christmas, Cas..."

 

"Merry Christmas, Dean...."


End file.
